Un-J's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[TehTransformers(Abridged)]

Heartbreaking

Few films traverse the path to cinematic greatness, but in 2005, one dared to do so. I quote a passage from that very film: "More then meets the eye" Though I've no rhyme nor reason for choosing such a quote and will not be using it to make any relevant point, I realize that it must send icy chills down all of your spines for its shear wisdom and greatness. The movie, TehTransformers came to me at a significantly sorrowful time in my life. Our family was bankrupt and the winters were growing harsh with each passing year. Cold poridge was our meager supply of food, and we were forced to kill our 22 kittens to make coats and keep warm. Upon seeing TehTransformers, life began to make perfect sense to me, once again. Unicron was a stranger in a strange land. He was branded an outcast, and the only longing in his soul was to journey home to his duck friends in his duck world. TehTransformers is a brilliant piece of social commentary that warns against the plague of prejudice and also against the dangers of technological feats in which we build giant lasers that shoot into space and accidentally bring ducks and evil overlords to our planet. Suffice to say, TehTransformers is a masterful gem of artistry that surpasses even that of de Milo, de Vinci, and Rembrandt. Its refreshingly honest, character-driven dialogue rivals the literary works of Thoreau, Emerson, and Hemingway. TehTransformers has transcended the generations and unlike putrid insults to cinema such as Casablanca and Citizen Kane that are rife with fuzzy, monochromatic images, TehTransformers is in color. In conclusion, I offer words of wisdom that passed from the lips of poet Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.: "A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanging, it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in colour and content according to the circumstances and time in which it is used." This quote has nothing to do with TehTransformers.

TmsT responds:

lol man yeah i tryd my best rofl!!11 i no my movie iz betta than casablnca but hu r all these ppl u r qoting?????????? dude r u leik sum brany person or summt?????????? u must be leik a philosology studenmt or summt lol kthxby

[ttttttttttttttteh]

The Most heart-breaking flash in my life.

Few flashes traverse the path to cinematic greatness, but this film, this one dared to do so. I quote a passage from that very film: "Dogtato, He's the Best". Though I've no rhyme nor reason for choosing such a quote and will not be using it to make any relevant point, I realize that it must send icy chills down all of your spines for its shear wisdom and greatness. The movie, Howard the Duck came to me at a significantly sorrowful time in my life. Our family was bankrupt and the winters were growing harsh with each passing year. Cold poridge was our meager supply of food, and we were forced to kill our 22 kittens to make coats and keep warm. Upon seeing Dogtato, life began to make perfect sense to me, once again. Dogtato was a stranger in a strange land. He was branded an outcast, and the only longing in his soul was to journey home to his animal-vegetable hybrid friends in his animal-vegetable hybrid world. Dogtato is a brilliant piece of social commentary that warns against the plague of prejudice and also against the dangers of technological feats in which we build giant lasers that shoot into space and accidentally bring love and evil overlords to our planet. Suffice to say, Dogtato is a masterful gem of artistry that surpasses even that of de Milo, de Vinci, and Rembrandt. Its refreshingly honest, character-driven dialogue rivals the literary works of Thoreau, Emerson, and Hemingway. Dogtato has transcended the generations and unlike putrid insults to cinema such as Eraserhead, or Seventh Seal that are rife with fuzzy, monochromatic images, Dogtato is in color. In conclusion, I offer words of wisdom that passed from the lips of poet Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.: "A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanging, it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in colour and content according to the circumstances and time in which it is used." This quote has nothing to do with Dogtato.

[The Squirrel of Life]

Oct-aye!

Very cute flash mr.kepple, especially the whole circular bit which probably made me enjoy this a lot more.

Fairly good animated giggliness, and lots of larfs all around. Now, if only you could sit down and make a nice Masterpiece like you did with the Colin Vs. Jesus saga, then i'd like to adopt you as my legal daughter. You've heard me.

a solid 8/10 with bonus one point for being an animutation, and minus one point for you not being my daughter.

TmsT responds:

Thanks Dad, but I'm not legal.

[The Secret of Dr. Mario]

Oh, look. drugs. hahaha.

Ahhh no. Not another one of these. For some reason, tons of video game based flash producers seem to think that and video game character (especially Mario) is hi-ho hilarious taking drugs, an idea that has been done to death, and wasn't even funny the first time.

Graphics: On the bright side, the graphics look fairly nice in this toon. with spinning pills and colorful sights. I'm definately not pro-drugs but i enjoy looking at psychedelic images.

Sound: gets a bit annoying after a while. as most rave like music does, so it works in it's context here.

Interactivity: Could use a start button, a pause and play feature is always nice etc...the basic stuff which should be in all films.

Style: Once again, - points for using the mario does drugs cliche. Not funny, and done to death.

Violence: Allright, it's about Mario taking drugs. how is this All Ages? Otherwise, not terribly freakishly violent.

Humor: None. Sorry, get an original idea before you submit. You have the graphics and visual power to do this, i can tell from the film. just let the spark of humor hit you and tell me when your next film starts. Until then, i classify this a dud.

[Shumway]

From Ear to Canada

A popular animuation that is just a slight pinch below the hype of them all.

Graphics: There are some real nice visual parts in the cartoon. Such as where we have the Colin's coming out of the trumpets with the Mario World 2 background, (which isn't as impressive the second time around. :) ).
Or when everyone is being lifted up by the disembodied (eek!) hands.
Some scenes are a bit too minimal with just talking heads to be very amusing while others work much better.

Sound: The song had some very good chances for false lyrics that could have been added a bit more. But you took the most of it and made it nice and smooth.
Sadly, the song itself might be a bit too long for it to capture the attention properly (and it lead to some ho-hum points in the cartoon).

Interactivity:
Hurrah for a pause and play button. Nice GABBO thing at the end.

Style: Hurray for being an animutation. Sadly, a bit of it seems to be a bit too much of in-joke humor to really kick off. Overall it's a nice animation with some real funky memorable scenes.

Violence: Watch out for punching gloves kids.

Humor: As i stated before, some scenes work, some don't. It's a bit of a mixed-bag. Overall i enjoyed watching it. But it's kind of a downer that the secret at the end is the funniest moment in the film.

Overall a fun film. Keep animutating.